Saturday, March 5, 2011

Knitting Interupted

The biopsy for that black line on my thumb was bumped up to last Thursday. I was excited until I was in the waiting room and then a wee bit of panic set in. "How did I think that this was going to be a good idea? Perhaps ignorance is bliss?" But I knew deep down that if I had learned nothing else from my experience with breast cancer I had learned that I will have everything biopsied - even if there is only a tiny percent that it could be cancer, I need to know.
So ...
having the freezing go in hurt. Mind you, I'm not good with needles anyway. But at least the freezing went in to the base of my thumb & I had imagined them sticking it into my actual thumb, perhaps even under my thumbnail so that was better than I thought!

The actual procedure was interesting - I'll spare the details in case you're squeamish but I am sans 2/3 of my thumbnail and I have 3 stitches because he also had to take some of the nail bed. Check out the "OMG, could he make it any bigger?!?" bandage.
And it has to stay "clean & dry" for 10 days. I asked how I was supposed to wash my hands to which Dr. Dickie (no, I'm not making that up!!) replied, "You'll figure something out". I told him that when I came to see him my hand would be filthy but sanitized!!

I knew that it would hurt when the freezing came out but - Lord have mercy!! - I had no idea how much!!! I have spent the better part of yesterday & today in bed, drugged to the gills with some medicinal rum chasers for good measure & I'm still hurting!! And when I say "hurting" I mean pain rivaling the worst of the pain on the Taxotere!! I called Telehealth and on the nurses recommendation went to a clinic today and I'm going to try a different pain killer.
I really hope that the pain will subside significantly soon so that I can try to knit on something. And so that I can get off these drugs - I'm not good with pain or at just laying about, dozing off & on. I know it won't be anything fine or gauge-critical, but even a simple scarf ... going cold turkey could kill a hard-core addict like me!!

Thanks for all of the support - no matter if I've known you for years or we're just "meeting", whether we know each other in RL or just Virtually please don't discount the value of knowing that I'm not alone, that my instincts & decisions are valid and I have "sisters" to turn to. And I'm sure that it's going to get a bit darker before I see dawn but I know that I'll get through and will have all of y'all to thank!!


5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love your blog. I was diagnosed with BC in Oct, Had mastectomy in Nov. Just finished AC and about to start Taxol Then radiation. I am following in your brave path. Hope the thumb is better soon - terrible to not feel well enough to knit. I have said a prayer for you tonight.
Blessings,
Jane

Wannietta said...

I am sorry that anyone has to follow my path but I hope that I've left a crumb or two that makes the way easier!! I don't think that anyone starts out strong enough to deal with Cancer but being women & having to strong for ourselves & our family makes us strong enough. And it even makes us strong enough to know when we can't take any more and then we are strong enough to ask for help.

Thank you Jane!!

Roxie said...

Wishing for Good painkillers! You have an especially sensetive and educated thumb, and with all those highly trained nerves, it's bound to give you lots of feedback.

Watch funny shows. Read sexy novels. Distract yourself as much as possible. We are with you every minute!

Wannietta said...

I love that perspective on my thumb, and it makes sense!! LOL!!!

Julie said...

Hope the thumb is starting to feel better. Mine hurts just thinking about it!! Have you figured out how to knit??